🧠 Personal Growth

If I had to describe how I was a few years ago, I'd say I lived on autopilot. I didn't have strong opinions, I went with the flow, and I rarely said no to anything - not because I was a pushover, but because I genuinely wanted everyone around me to be happy. I've since learned there's a word for that: I value harmony. A lot. Sometimes to the point of putting other people's needs above my own without even realizing it.

This year, for the first time, I started actually thinking about why I react the way I do. Why I shut down in certain arguments. Why I get anxious before things like interviews or presentations. Paying attention to those patterns has been one of the better decisions I've made.

Through all that, I've also been learning what I actually like. Sounds obvious, but it wasn't for me. Here's what I've figured out so far:

1. Driving on open roads with the windows down and the right playlist on

2. Building things - the moment an idea in my head becomes something real is deeply satisfying

3. PC games with friends

4. Doing absolutely nothing/daydreaming/sleeping somewhere peaceful in nature

5. Watching esports highlights

6. YouTube rabbit holes about tech, gear, and productivity tools

7. Optimizing my setup - keyboard shortcuts, apps, workflows

8. Lazily cooking something I saw online with music in the background

9. Dancing/vibing to songs in my living room

Someone once told me: figure out what makes you happy and do that - that's your purpose. I used to accept that at face value. But I'm not so sure anymore. If I played games with friends every single day, it would eventually feel like nothing. It's the fact that I do other things - work on projects, deal with hard problems, face boring errands - that makes the gaming session at the end of the day actually feel good. We need contrast. Sadness makes happiness meaningful. Boredom makes excitement exciting. The goal isn't to maximize the good moments; it's to find a balance that keeps life interesting.

There's something else I've noticed: as I've gotten older and started thinking more about things, I've become less spontaneous. Everything is a little more planned, a little more considered. I sometimes miss the kid version of me that just did things. I'm trying not to lose that completely.

🌍 Living in the US

I'm an immigrant. I moved from India to the US for grad school and stayed for work, and this year I've been thinking about that choice more than ever.

From time to time I miss home. I miss my family, the festivals, the food, the sense of familiarity that you only notice once it's gone. My parents are getting older, and the distance sometimes feels heavier than I let on. I want to be close enough to reach them quickly if something happens, but not so close that every small thing falls on me. It's a balance I haven't figured out yet.

At the same time, the US has given me a career I genuinely love, opportunities I wouldn't have had otherwise, and the financial breathing room to do what I want on weekends. I'm not taking that for granted. I'm just also not taking the other stuff for granted anymore either.

💼 Work

I left Torc Robotics a few weeks ago. Ive worked at Torc for almost two years, and it was genuinely great - I learned how large engineering teams actually function, went deep on calibration systems, debugged software live on a real autonomous truck, and made friends I'll keep in touch with. It was the kind of job that teaches you how to think, not just what to do.

I made the move to a new company partly for career reasons, partly for visa stability as I start the next stage of my immigration process. The new role is still in calibration; but at a larger, more established company. Excited to learn a different way of doing things.

One thing leaving taught me: the relationships you build at work are real. The farewell messages I got from colleagues I'd worked alongside meant more than I expected. It's messages like those that remind you how much the day-to-day actually mattered.

🔨 Building Stuff

Building is one of my favorite things to do, and this year I actually shipped some stuff.

I've been working on a robotic arm with cycloidal drives - custom actuators, real motor controllers, the works. This year I got the motor running and PID tuned. It's not glamorous progress, but it's real, and seeing it move the way I wanted was deeply satisfying.

I also published an app, small thing, but it's live and it works. I faced a real problem where I was struggling to organize documents like passports visas and much more, so in the age of AI I built an app to make it easier for me. Its called DocVault. There's something about putting something out into the world, even something tiny, that feels disproportionately good.

I also 3D printed a lot more this year. Mostly practical stuff for the home - a tray by the door for my wallet and keys, a paper towel holder, a Gridfinity system to organize my drawers, an Apple watch charging station, and a bunch of other small things. Some I designed myself, some I grabbed from others online and just printed. It's a great hobby because the feedback loop is fast and the results are immediately useful. A big part of why it's been so enjoyable is the Bambu Labs printer - it needs close to no debugging, the prints just work, and I can monitor and even start prints remotely when I'm not home. It's the kind of tool that gets out of your way and lets you focus on making things.

On the software side, I've published a few new GitHub repos this year, mostly tools and experiments I've wanted to exist, so I built them. What's changed is the speed. With AI, the iteration cycle on software is just insanely fast now. An idea that would've taken me a weekend to even prototype can be working in an afternoon. I still do the thinking and the designing, but the gap between "I want this to exist" and "this exists" has shrunk dramatically. It's one of the most exciting things happening in software right now not that AI writes code for you, but that it makes you 10x faster at turning ideas into things.

I have a backlog of ideas that I'm always adding to and rarely getting to. That's fine. The ones that stick around long enough eventually get built - and these days, they get built faster than ever.

🧘 The Second Brain

I now take daily notes. Every day, just a few minutes: what went well, what didn't, what I want to remember. Then I use Claude to organize everything into what people call a second brain - a structured, searchable record of my life, thoughts, and work.

I was inspired by Tiago Forte's Building a Second Brain and a post by Andrej Karpathy on how LLMs make this kind of system actually maintainable for the first time. I'd tried before and given up because the upkeep was too much. With AI doing the organizing, it actually works now.

The idea is simple: your brain is for thinking, not remembering. Let a system handle the storage. I've found this genuinely reduces background stress - fewer things rattling around in my head because I know they're written down somewhere I can find them.

🤢 The Stomach Thing

I've had a stomach problem for over a year now. Post-meal nausea, sometimes vomiting, especially in the mornings or before things I'm mildly anxious about - a dentist appointment, a new social situation, a meal I'm not sure my stomach will agree with.

For a long time I thought it was physical - acid reflux, GERD, an ulcer, something dietary. I tried cutting things out, changing my eating routine, all of it. Progress was limited.

What I eventually figured out (with some help from therapy and just paying closer attention) is that anxiety is the driver. My body learned, somewhere along the way, to associate certain situations with vomiting - and now the anticipation of vomiting is itself enough to trigger it. It's a loop. The anxiety causes the symptom, the symptom confirms the anxiety, the loop tightens.

I've had multiple consecutive meals completely symptom-free when I was relaxed and distracted - out with friends, doing something fun, not thinking about eating at all. The stomach problem essentially disappears when I'm not focused on it.

I'm not "fixed." But knowing what's actually happening changes things. You can't solve a problem you've misidentified.

Sometimes I think back to when eating was just... a thing I did without thinking. I miss that. Hopefully I get there again.

❤️ Relationships

Most of my friends are moving out of Ann Arbor now, it's like most people come to study and leave right after they're done. I've made some amazing friends here though, and I find it easy to meet new people, so I'm not worried. I just hope we all make the effort to actually stay in touch and catch up every now and then.

Growing up, I hated conflict. I avoided arguments, hated being confronted, and would do almost anything to sidestep a fight. I thought conflict meant something was broken. But recently my perspective has shifted - I've come to see that disagreements, when handled honestly, are often how you actually understand someone better. Staying in a hard conversation instead of shutting down or walking away is something I've been practicing. Still not great at it, but I'm getting there.

🏋️ Staying Active

Boxing has been the most consistent thing in my fitness routine this year - I've kept at it, it's fun, and it keeps me sane. Gym consistency has been spottier, but I've stayed decently active overall between boxing, swimming and climbing.

My stomach situation has made eating more complicated than it used to be, so the usual "just eat more protein" approach to fitness has needed some rethinking. I'm figuring it out.

🙏 Gratitude

I've noticed something this past year: we spend a lot of mental energy on what's going wrong. That's human nature, our brains are wired to focus on problems because unresolved problems demand attention. Things that are working fine don't make noise.

There's a thought experiment I like: if everyone in the world wrote their problems on a piece of paper and threw them into a hat, and you had to randomly draw someone else's problems to swap for your own - would you? Most people, if they're honest, would say no.

Here are some things I'm genuinely grateful for right now:

1. A family that supports whatever I want to do

2. Friends I can be completely myself with

3. Living 10 minutes from work

4. Quiet neighbors

5. No financial stress

6. A body that doesn't hurt today

7. Falling asleep almost instantly

8. Owning my time on weekends

9. The ability to say no without guilt (still working on this one)

✨ Looking Ahead

I'm starting a new job in September. New team, new problems, new things to learn. Its anxiety inducing but still exciting.

I want to be more intentional about the things I know matter: staying in touch with family, making time for building, keeping the daily note habit going. Less autopilot. More showing up.

Last year I wrote that I could feel something exciting building. I still feel that. Here's to whatever comes next.